The last month in regards to my infrequent blogging, has been an example of feeling poorly...conflicted....completely exhausted...and unsure as to whether people really want to continue reading about my thoughts and experiences on life and motherhood. I've been negligent in the blogging area while avoiding posting yet missing the lifeline it provides at the same time.
What's going on? Nothing unusual. Basically the norm. However, sometimes my norm becomes a smidge negative in my head and then the "Really? Do people want to read this drivel?" takes over. So, hence the quiet on my blogging front.
"....and then I watched Oprah." Today. Which is a miraculous feat in itself as it's on during dinner prep. I realize some people really dislike her, but I don't!
This re-run episode reminded me that I am normal (ack! cough! cough! define normal) and that I blog for me, for a multitude of reasons and miss it.
Today's show was about motherhood. The REALITY of motherhood. The need for honesty and for mother's to support one another. The support system of our mother's days are long gone. Families are global = little or no physical support. There is PRESSURE to do it all. Work out of the home. Work from the home. Stay at home. Single mothers. Gay mothers. Nuclear mothers. Love every bit of it. Cook. Clean. Create. Smile. Laugh. Be happy. Raise the smartest, cutest, most well-behaved typical children. Have the perfect marriage. Never swear, not even in our heads. All of it.
The Pathological-Liar Mother's Club. Have you heard of it? It exists. These are the mothers that look perfect as do their clean faced, smartly dressed, well behaved children. Don't you know one or two of these wonder-moms? Don't you feel judged? Inadequate? I do. I have. But then it came to me. The epiphany. It's the club! The P-LM Club. Not to be mistaken with the PMS group. Totally different. Anyway, these women were fooling me wholeheartedly and fooling themselves. In all honesty, we are all a little like the mom's that were on Oprah today. The feeding their kids pizza for breakfast, bringing home fast-food, listening to their kids cry and not intercepting, only showering twice a week moms. Watching this episode brought me back to reality. It's okay to be where I'm at. Have my feelings. Own them. And that's what I'm going to do. Own them. Support my mom friends. Not judge or care if I am judged. And if all that doesn't work, I'll just remind myself that every mom poops too. That'll do it. Forget, picturing them naked (you know...public speaking advice)...we all poop.
And that's part of why I haven't been blogging so often. Judgement. Of myself. And concern that readers will judge. But you know what, that's okay. If you're here, be prepared for the honesty. The open-ness of it. The ugliness of it. The humor of honesty. I hope that you find a shred of hope and gratitude in that you are not the only one with wild antics in your mothering life. I hope that you read my experiences and laugh and gasp out loud in shock and gratitude that THAT didn't happen to you or your kids and never will!:)
If you are one of those readers that is certain I exaggerate in regards to motherhood, here's some reading material for you:
I Was a Really Good Mom before I had Kids by Trisha Ashworth & Amy Nobile....one of my favorites! These authors were on Oprah today. I read this book eons ago and can so relate!
The Secret Life of a Slummy Mummy by Fiona Neil. Hilarious fiction. After my own heart...remember coconut rum or rum in place of vanilla?
Toddlers Gone Wild! by Rebecca Eckler. Canadian author, journalist, mother. She annoyed me years ago when I saw her on a local breakfast television broadcast advocating "the pro-cesarean & I- won't- breastfeed"for convenience phase...and I still don't agree with that (there I am judging). Her book is okay. Some funny points. Some of it doesn't relate to me....she's too fit, too chic, too big city compared to me...but funny too...and I just can't get past my bad attitude and judgement. There you have it. I judge too.
Anyway, grab a good book and some quiet time. You know...quiet time... in the sacred, door locked bathroom or while your husband is sleeping and graciously letting you read with the light on.
Enjoy your book...your quiet time.
Live in the moment of your mothering. Every wacky, frustrating, loving, tear jerking, heart-string, child hugging moment of it.
